


After Darkness, Can You See Light?

by flipflop_diva



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gratuitous Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Oral Sex, POV Steve Rogers, Penis In Vagina Sex, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Sam Wilson, Protective Steve Rogers, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Sam Wilson Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 06:55:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva
Summary: After a mission gone disastrously wrong, Steve, Natasha and Sam are left to deal with the aftermath and the guilt from the choices that led them there in the first place.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34
Collections: Id Pro Quo 2020





	After Darkness, Can You See Light?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rubynye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubynye/gifts).



_“So let me get this straight.” A loud voice boomed over them as the man laughed, a sound that sent shivers through Steve’s entire being. “This one here wants all of my men to take her to spare you two.” He pointed. “And the super soldier would rather get tortured before the fun stuff to spare you two.” More pointing. “And he.” Now pointing at Sam. “Will do anything to save you two. Well, we’re going to have to think about this now, won’t we?”_

_“No!” Steve called out. “Leave them be. Do what you want with me, but leave them be!”_

_“No.” Natasha snarled next to him. “They can have me.”_

_Steve couldn’t turn his head, but if he could have, she would have seen him glare at her._ He _was the super soldier. He had the serum. He could take more than she could, more than Sam could._

_“It’s not a problem, Steve,” he heard Natasha say out of the corner of her mouth, low so their captors, cackling just feet in front of them, wouldn’t hear. He didn’t want to think about the implications of that statement, but he also didn’t care what it was the Red Room made her do. He wasn’t going to let her do anything of the sort again._

_“No,” he hissed back. “I’m not going to let them touch you.”_

_“I can handle it.”_

_“No!”_

_“You can’t,” he heard her say, but the anger that rose up inside him at that statement died out almost immediately when the man who was taunting them stepped up closer, grabbing them each one by one and looking in their eyes._

_Steve tried not to cringe at the rough fingers digging into his skin. Instead he just stared back at the guy without blinking or flinching, willing him to accept his deal. Keep him, do whatever they wanted to him, just let Sam and Natasha go._

_It had been three days since they had been ambushed. The intel had been a sophisticated trap. Before they had begun to realize what was happening, it was too late._

_But three days was a long time for them to be off the grid. And Natasha thought she had managed to send a signal to Clint before they took all their weapons and tech away. If the Avengers were coming, they would be here soon. All they had to do was hold on until then._

_The man — Steve assumed he was part of Hydra, or had been at least — let go of him, jerking his head back as he did so. From the corner of his eye, he saw him move on to Sam and grab hold of him._

_And then he both saw and heard Sam spitting in the guy’s face._

_A crack as the guy smacked him sounded in the small, cold room._

_The guy retreated to his original location, on the other side of the room, looking menacing. “Fine,” he said. “You guys want to save each other so much? You can all watch each other as my men take their sweet time with each of you.” He pointed, and Steve’s stomach recoiled at where it was pointing._

_“She goes first.”_

-

Steve’s eyes flew open, his heart pounding in his chest. His body was soaked with sweat, and for a moment, he felt like he couldn’t quite catch his breath. He could hear his own blood pounding in his ears, and he thought for a moment he might throw up.

He pressed his head harder back into the pillow and tried to slow his breathing and his heart.

Apart from him, the room was quiet, just the soft even breaths of two sleeping people.

They were safe. He was safe. It was just a dream. 

It was over.

Steve slipped out of bed without waking Natasha or Sam. Sam had rolled toward her sometime during the night, and his arm was around her waist. Her head was against his shoulder. If it was any other time, it might have looked peaceful.

Steve made his way to the kitchen and to the familiarity of the coffee pot and his favorite mug, the one with the star in red, white and blue taking up almost the whole thing. The one Natasha found for him in a gift shop off the side of some dirt road when they were searching for Bucky. She had laughed for almost an hour after she bought it for him.

Sometimes it was hard to believe that was only a few months ago.

He found his way outside once the coffee was ready, leaning against the balcony wall, trying to breath in the fresh air and concentrate on the early morning sounds of the city. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, and already he could see cars heading out to wherever they needed to be. Sometimes, in the distance, he could make out a cat creeping along the street or a jogger out for an early morning run.

He thought about just taking off, making a run for it, going for miles until he could outrun the memories in his head, but the thought was barely formed before it was discarded. 

Three weeks and they hadn’t left each other’s sides since. He wasn’t going to be the one to break their unspoken pact.

The sound of a door opening behind him stirred him from his thoughts. She sidled up to him, bare feet and messy hair, a mug in her hands.

“Thanks for the coffee.” She smiled at him, a real smile, and he felt his heart ache.

His bruises had faded almost immediately. By the time he walked through the doors of their apartment, it was like nothing had ever happened to him. Physically at least. But Natasha and Sam weren’t that lucky.

Her bruises had mostly faded by now. Only if you knew where to look — like he did — would you see them. The tender spot above her eye. The skin above her hips, where they had held her in place. The faded rope burns on her wrists.

They hadn’t talked about what happened. Not really anyway. Not in the daytime.

Whispered assurances the first few days. Checking on bruises and scrapes and the gash Natasha had in her abdomen from when they knifed her. Going over intel from that day, what they missed and how they missed it and ways to keep it from happening again. Everything matter-of-fact and mission focused. 

Don’t think about it. Don’t talk about it. Don’t try to remember it.

The unwritten mantra.

Except all Steve did was think about it, remember it. Every time Sam touched him. Every time Natasha smiled. Every time they all sat a little closer together on the couch. Every time one of them went to the bed and the other two immediately followed after.

He didn’t know how not to think about it, how not to remember it. 

He didn’t know how to escape it.

He tried not to let any of that show, though, as he peered at Natasha over his own mug. “Is that your subtle way of telling me I didn’t make it strong enough?”

She feigned offense. “No,” she said.

“So it is then.”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe.”

They were both quiet after that. Once upon a time, they had spent mornings joking and laughing and teasing. It felt a bit like another lifetime.

“I’m not doing okay.” The words were out of his mouth before he even realized he was saying them. Even realized he wanted to say them.

Natasha looked over at him, her eyes peering at him above the rim of her mug as she took a sip. She lowered it slowly.

“I told you, Steve,” she started, and he could tell she was choosing her words carefully. “I could handle it. It’s nothing-”

“No.” He cut her off. He knew what she was going to say. It’s nothing she hadn’t encountered before. She had been through worse. Like life’s traumatic events were a competition, and if it wasn’t at the top then it wasn’t so bad. “Don’t you get it, Natasha? It wasn’t bad because of what happened to _me_. It was bad because of what they did to _you_. To Sam. Watching that and not being able to _save_ you.”

Natasha didn’t answer. She just stared at him.

Steve stopped talking and took another sip of his coffee. He didn’t tell her that it was her eyes that haunted him the most. The way they had gone almost blank when they were raping her, like she wasn’t there. How limp she was, like a ragdoll. Sam had struggled, moaned, even cried. Natasha had just let it happen. Steve didn’t know how to deal with any of that.

He did add one last thing. “How I am supposed to get over that?”

“I don’t know.” Her voice was a whisper. 

“Hey, guys.” Sam’s voice came from behind them. Steve hadn’t even heard him come outside. “Am I interrupting?”

“No,” Steve said.

“I was just leaving,” Natasha said. She turned to go back in.

“No, she wasn’t,” Steve said, and she froze for a moment, and then turned to look at him. Her eyes were narrowed.

“We need to talk about what happened,” he said. He looked over at Sam and then back at Natasha.

“Yeah, maybe we do,” Sam said.

“Why?” Natasha said. “What good will it do?”

“Healing,” Sam said instantly.

“I’m fine.”

“Really?” Steve said. “Because it’s been three weeks and you haven’t tried to search for any clues to Bucky.”

“You sleep next to us at night,” Sam added.

“Do you want me not to?”

“Of course not,” Sam said. “I love having you there. Steve loves having you there. I just want you to be there because it’s what you really want and not because of what happened.”

“What happened,” Natasha said slowly. She was studying Sam now. “What happened was I didn’t check the intel carefully enough, and I led us into a trap, and they … you two …” She stopped. Steve noticed her hands were clenched.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Sam said immediately.

“It was _my_ intel,” she said sharply.

“That we both vetted!” Steve said.

“And I was the one that got caught first,” Sam said. “I was the one who wasn’t careful enough.”

“You were only doing what I told you to do,” Natasha told him.

“And I was the one who should have saved us.” There. Steve finally said it, what he had been thinking since this had all began. “I’m stronger than them. But I froze.”

“We were outnumbered,” Natasha said. “You wouldn’t have able to get by them all.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“I should have been more careful,” Sam said.

“I should have known better,” Natasha whispered.

The three of them looked at each other. Steve could see unshed tears in both their eyes. He knew they could see them in his too.

It felt maybe like starting to heal.

-

Natasha kissed him that night. Not the peck on the cheek she had given him occasionally since they returned home, but a real kiss. He was sitting in bed, next to Sam who was reading, staring at his sketch pad, starting a new drawing of Natasha and Sam curled up together on the couch, when she came over to him, looking a little unsure and very unlike herself.

Steve immediately placed the sketch pad on the table beside him. “Are you okay?” he asked.

She shook her head and leaned toward him. He knew right away what she wanted and took her easily into his arms, letting her sit in his lap as she dipped her head down and kissed him.

He kissed her back, his arms sliding around her back to hold her tightly to him. Their lips moved against each other, gently, tenderly, little pecks intermixed with deeper, longer periods. 

Finally, she pulled back, just a touch, and he let her. He smiled up at her and reached up to stroke her cheek with the back of his knuckles. Her eyes were watery.

“None of it was your fault,” he told her. “You have to know that.”

Natasha tilted her head to the side. “I’ve never felt so guilty over a mission before,” she said, then clarified. “I’ve never felt guilty over a mission before. I don’t know how to get past this.”

Steve studied her. He could see Sam beside him putting his book away. For a moment, those horrible images played once again in his head, but then he pushed them away.

“We get past it by not letting them come between us,” Steve told her. “We are still us, no matter what they did.”

Natasha didn’t say anything for a moment, but then she nodded. “Yeah,” she said.

Steve pulled her down toward him again, cupping her head as he kissed her once more. This time, though, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and rolled to his right, taking her with him, until he was on top of her and she was right beside Sam.

“I want this,” he told her, told them. “I want both of you.”

“Me too,” Natasha whispered.

“Me too,” Sam said.

It was Sam’s turn to kiss Natasha. He leaned over her, pressing his lips to hers. Steve waited until he saw Sam’s tongue slip into her mouth and heard her groan just so before he slid down her body.

She was dressed in her normal attire of a tank top and yoga pants. He scrunched her tank top up a little, sliding his hands beneath it to feel the warmth of her skin before pushing it up a little more. She hadn’t worn a bra today so he let his hands cup her breasts beneath her shirt, kneading them gently in his hands.

He watched her moan into Sam’s mouth, wrapping her arms around Sam’s neck as his hand played with her curls.

Steve pushed her shirt up even more, so it was above her breasts now, and took one into his mouth, his lips wrapping around her nipple. He sucked it between his teeth and then licked over it with his tongue after. She wiggled beneath him, and he did it again, using his other hand to pinch her other nipple gently between his thumb and forefinger.

Sam turned his head as he was kissing her and caught Steve’s eye. Steve nodded and released his fingers and his lips from Natasha’s nipples. She whined into Sam’s mouth, but a moment later, Sam’s fingers were stroking over her, and Steve saw her settle back down into the mattress.

Steve made his way further south, rubbing soft circles into her hip bones with his thumbs and kissing a path from her breasts down to her navel and then down to the hem of her pants. He pushed them down just enough to reveal her black panties and then began laying kisses all over the small, silky piece of material.

He pushed her pants down more, to her knees, and then licked between her legs, over the material of her underwear, and her body jerked.

He heard Sam sooth her as Steve pushed her underwear to the side and began to rub his finger up and down her center. 

It didn’t take long for her whimpers to start, and Steve felt the sound go directly to his groin. It always amazed him when he could make someone like Natasha — and someone like Sam for that matter — let him see their most vulnerable sides.

He rubbed her harder and faster with his finger, her hips undulating below him as she struggled to get him to go exactly where she wanted. Sam had moved down to kissing beneath her jaw while his hands worked at her breasts, and Natasha’s gasps and moans were more audible now, her fingers digging into Sam’s shoulders.

Finally, Steve could wait no more either. He lifted himself enough to shove her pants down to her ankles and then pushed her underwear down just as far. She lifted one foot and shook them both off that leg as Steve put his hands between her thighs and spread her open wide. 

He took his time, mouthing at her, licking her, feeling her grow wetter beneath him, a combination of his saliva and her arousal. She squirmed against him, and at some point, Steve realized Sam had gotten her tank top all the way off, and his own clothes, and was now kneeling beside her, letting her stroke him as he played with her breasts. 

Steve caught his eye one more time and Sam slid his hand down Natasha’s body, letting his finger land on her clit and begin to rub.

Natasha jerked, and Steve slipped one of his fingers inside her, moving slowly at first and then speeding up.

Natasha moaned, bucking against his hand, squeezing Sam at the same time, who groaned and rubbed her clit harder and faster.

Steve’s own dick was aching, but he took a deep breath and added a second finger, scissoring them inside her as he picked up the pace even more.

Natasha moaned more as Sam’s groans got louder and then he was easing his dick into her mouth. Steve pushed a third finger inside her and pressed his free hand down over Sam’s, increasing the pressure on her clit, and there it was.

Natasha cried out around Sam’s dick as she clenched around Steve’s fingers, Sam following her a second later.

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He slipped his fingers out of Natasha and hurriedly tore off his own clothes, not even caring when there was the sound of one of them ripping.

He pressed on her knees, opening her up just a bit more as Sam collapsed backward on the bed, his hand reaching beneath Natasha’s ass to help angle her a little better.

Steve pressed his dick up against her folds, sliding up and down a few times, listening to her pant and watching for her to nod. The second she did, he was sliding inside her, reaching beneath her knees and lifting her legs up to place them over his shoulders.

He pushed himself all the way in, slowly, little by little, until he was seated completely inside her. He gave her a couple moments to adjust and then he was moving, almost all the way out and then shoving all the way back in.

Her body bounced against the bed as he fucked her, her knuckles white as she gripped on to the sheets, her head back and her mouth open and her back arched, and then Sam’s hand was back on her clit, rubbing her hard.

It didn’t take long until she was coming again, crying out as she shook beneath him, and Steve could think of nothing else but the feel of thrusting in and out and in and out of her, until finally the world in front of him narrowed to nothing but the three of them and this moment and then he too was coming, releasing himself inside her, as she cried out again.

They let her rest after that, he and Sam taking turns to pleasure one another, and then it was Sam’s turn to be cared for as Natasha climbed on top of him, her body slick with sweat as she rode him and Steve watched, his own dick in Sam’s mouth.

And then finally, Natasha swung herself over Steve’s mouth, letting him feast on her as she leaned forward and took his dick into her mouth as Sam rubbed his hand over all parts of both of them.

Steve exploded in her mouth just seconds before Natasha cried out above him, and she toppled off into Sam’s arms, who made sure she was comfortable before going to get wet cloths.

They cleaned each other off and tucked Natasha into bed and laid down on either side of her. And for the first time since everything had gone horribly wrong, Steve felt like he was finally going to be able to sleep the whole night through.

They weren’t completely healed, any of them, and maybe they wouldn’t be for a long time. But it was a start, and that was the last thing he thought before drifting off.


End file.
